Attention all employees,

Please be advised that the Day Shift does not begin at 6 AM, at least not for this manager! Any future attempts to begin Day Shift work this early will negatively impact Night Shift performance reviews.

Also, please note that Afternoon Breaks will be taken simultaneously; this schedule adjustment will now be considered mandatory. For all of our sanity.

Thank you kindly,
The Manager.

1. We have added a new bulletin board in the Break Room to display company-wide notices and greeting card-type accolades. Please check it regularly.

2. Congratulations to K.Lo, who has learned to employ the phrase "Excuse me" after burping.

3. We don't fix what isn't broken: If N.Lo decides to pass out on the couch or in his crib early, before his last feeding and uniform change, so be it. His work on the Night Shift will not be interrupted. However, if this trend does continue, Management will consider more permanent schedule changes for N.Lo.

4. Congratulations to The Manager for addressing a significant portion of the DVR paperwork on her desk this weekend.

5. Our entire company (with the exception of The Canine Staff) will go on retreat later this work week. The CEO and Manager will head to the mountains with N.Lo in celebration of The Manager's 30th birthday, while K.Lo will visit the Regional Manager. We feel this much-needed break will benefit all members of The Lo. Co. staff.

Attention all employees,

Please be advised that Management strongly prefers you to clock out for Afternoon Break at the same time. These opposite-hour shenanigans are not amusing or acceptable. Even if you were to share one measly hour of the break? That would be great. But N.Lo, clocking back in for your shift right as K.Lo clocks out is most uncool. I know you're new here, but seriously. And then demanding assistance for the entirety of K.Lo's break! The Manager has things to do! Paperwork! Assisting the Kitchen and Housekeeping staffs! The Accounting and IT departments! They all need help, too.

Not to mention, The Manager herself could really use a break.

I'm just saying.

Sincerely,
The Manager