K.Lo & N.Lo’s Place

It’s difficult to convey exactly how ginormous this box is, delivered from Kohl’s the other day. I managed to knock out some Christmas shopping online for the employees and a few of our colleagues, and a large part of that shipment came at one time. This size box was by no means necessary, as it was not even halfway full, so I’m still a little shocked by it. But, the bonus is obviously the box itself. New fort! Merry Early Christmas! The CEO created windows, and I cut out the doors.

Photo File: Extras

Both employees had a great time on their weekend retreat! They love this park.

 

 

 

 

Also, some phone pictures of N.Lo at the gymnastics place we checked out with some colleagues last Thursday:

 

 

 

 

 

And let’s not forget K.LoBlueFace. She was coloring with markers and knew not what a weapon she wielded while scratching her nose:

Photo File: Extras

The employees wouldn’t look up to say “Cheese.” Very intent, open-mouthed work in the sandbox.

 

 

 

 

Dinosaur shirt-wearing cuteness.

 

 

We picked flowers on our walk, and K.Lo made sure there was one for me, too.

 

Look, there’s the school bus, bringing home the kids!

 

Group shots. Difficult to coordinate!

 

Work Day Givens

I record these givens here not only for posterity, but in hopes that I will accept them as the givens they are, rather than attempting to fight them with annoyance and/or louder forms of resistance.

• N.Lo will want to be picked up and carried when on a company excursion. If he does feel like walking, he will not hold the Manager’s hand in the parking lot and will charge forth, erasing years off the Manager’s life in the space of mere seconds.
• N.Lo will petition to be picked up and carried at the office when the Manager’s arms are completely full, when the Kitchen Staff is preparing a meal (especially a hot one, or one whose preparation involves knives), or immediately after the CEO returns from the Other Office. When denied, he will throw a fit. And eventually, one or more members of Management will give in.
• N.Lo will ask for help putting his shoes on, and then will snatch them away, saying he wants to put them on himself. Then he will not be able to put on said shoes. Then he will ask for help putting on the shoes. Then he will get mad that you are not letting him put on the shoes himself. When this scene occurs, the company will already be running late.
• N.Lo will ask to open a snack that is melty or crushable, will not be able to open said snack, will ask for help opening the snack, and then will immediately snatch the snack back and attempt once again to open it, thereby melting and crushing it.
• N.Lo will throw his food if dissatisfied in any way during a meal. Dissatisfaction may or may not be related to food.
• N.Lo will also insist on carrying his bowl or plate full of food, and will either trip on his way to the table, or become dissatisfied in some way on his way to the table, inspiring him to drop said bowl or plate full of food.
• Any dropped food will immediately be rendered inedible due to the dog hair that will inevitably stick to it.
• The Canine Staff will hover around any and all food like vultures. They may even be so brazen as to eat said food off the coffee table (or even *gasp* the kitchen table) when Management is not looking. And if Management happens to miss the crime, there will be no way to prove it happened. Can only depend on employee testimony, if available.
• A salesman, neighbor, or little twit asking for money in exchange for nothing will come to the door during Afternoon Break. Dogs will bark.
• K.Lo will have a meltdown at some point throughout the day, or perhaps several points throughout the day. Always at the end of the day, prior to the Night Shift. Often before dinner. Occasionally right outside N.Lo’s door during Afternoon Break. It will usually manifest itself as a control issue, i.e. she has not gotten her way enough, and she will not be consoled about this injustice.
• K.Lo will request Managerial assistance with tasks that any sane, able individual would attempt themselves, such as retrieving a drink that is literally two feet away. Or pulling up her sheets over her little body at night when she kicks them off and gets cold. For a brief period not too long ago, she asked for help eating her food. Management is still puzzling over this particular request, wondering how, and why.
• K.Lo will come up with some great new pressing need that requires Managerial assistance, i.e. she really does need adult help, approximately every 120 seconds. All day. Every day. Sometimes at night. Will express said need in the manner of a broken record until the “off” button is pushed, or the need is met.
• If reprimanded, K.Lo will melt down, and/or yell at Management for yelling at her.
• If her coworker is reprimanded, K.Lo will melt down. And yell at Management for yelling at her coworker.
• If the employees are working happily, any small disruption can and will disturb said contentment. That disruption can be as small as the Manager standing up from her chair and crossing the room to retrieve something.
• If the refrigerator is opened, one or both employees will lobby for cheese. Employees do not have to be present in the kitchen; they can sense the refrigerator being opened from all far corners of the office. After the 3rd refrigerator-opening, requests for cheese will become unreasonable and excessive, but will not cease to occur.
• Both employees will request to sit with (i.e. ON) Management at meals. Even and especially if the meal requires two hands and/or extra care, such as with hot soup.
• These events can and will combine with unfortunate synergy.

Overheard in the Office

These are all K.Lo. K.Lo, K.Lo, K.Lo…

• “I put my milk cup in the sink like a ROCK STAR! High five!”
• “I don’t like fish, it makes me feel like grown-up.” Which, according to the CEO (I was not aware), means throwing up. Lovely.
• On Friday, the company doctor mentioned that, due to company medical history, the employees should perhaps cut back on such high-fat, high-sodium foods as hot dogs. So the Kitchen Staff purchased Smart Dogs this weekend, the squishy tofu knockoffs? And neither employee was fooled, or impressed. Management overheard K.Lo muttering to herself: “Hey… these are not yummy. I do NOT like these hot dogs.”
• In the company car, impatient to get back to the office: “Mommy, these people aren’t driving very well…” (They were, in fact, fine—that time. Ha ha.)
• Casual dinner conversation, directed at the Manager: “Are those your boobs? I have small hill boobs. See?” …What? Where? WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT?
• The CEO said to K.Lo, “You really are a hoot.” K.Lo: “I’m not a FRUIT!

She uses her “teacher” voice quite often as well, which is fun. I like hearing her break down elaborate “lessons” for us on how to do a puzzle, wrap up a doll, etc. She starts her sentences with “now” a lot, and says, “You have to do such-and-such,” or, “Remember, you can’t do that-or-that because…” etc.

K.Lo also has teacher “volume” down, i.e. she knows how to project her voice, which may or may not be pleasant for her audience.

And, she’s gotten a little sassy, not necessarily in a fun way. While it’s interesting (embarrassing?), and at times cute or entertaining , to hear what she picks up on and relays back to us, she can and will cross the line. The employee is at times under the impression that our company is a democracy where all have an equal say, so if she is admonished for a behavior, then she can in turn admonish us for our behavior as she sees fit. While Management understands that it is the employee’s job to make mistakes throughout training, Management also expects the employee to listen when asked to stop or change said behavior when told. Especially after the third time. I’m just saying. K.Lo’s persistence and drive will serve her so well in the world, but it is also Management’s job to keep those characteristics in check.  

Performance Review: N.Lo

Height: 34.75 inches (60th percentile). Grew 2 inches since 18-mos review.

Weight: 29.5 lbs (75th percentile). Hasn’t gained an ounce! Bye-bye, round belly...

Fully vaccinated. Was a bit torturous, but hopefully there will be a little less sickness around the office this winter. Mainly did well with checkup, although was highly insulted when not allowed to play with the choo-choos. (The waiting room was reserved for sick kiddos today.)

Smiles: Excellent.

Fashion sense: At times questionable.

Overall: Incredibly cute.

Thanksgiving Crafts, Part 1

Our office is hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year, and K.Lo is capable of so much more in the area of crafting, so I am stepping up our efforts to decorate the office a little bit. We started small today, with a few project kits picked up on clearance at the craft store, as well as an adapted project from a cool site recommended by a fellow manager.

Here is one of the kits, which I think was $.75. As far as teamwork went, I basically put it all together while K.Lo attended to her own project, cooking up a bowlful of google eyes and plastic beads, served with a plastic spoon. Yummy. Some of these projects are still difficult to fully enlist the staff because they involve use of the hot glue gun, which I can barely operate myself without injury. In fact, I did suffer a glob of hot glue on my finger which I couldn’t shake off for several long and painful seconds. Would you believe glue doesn’t shake off? It’s shocking. Anyway, the scarecrow is cool, but he has to stay on the book shelf, as he can’t stand up by himself. Top heavy.

Here is the turkey, which we made from felt instead of foam. K.Lo was more than cooperative as I traced her hand, and then we put it all together. It reminds me of the turkeys we used to make from construction paper in elementary school; I like it because it’s also a record of hand size. Pretty sure K.Lo likes it, too.