MEMO

TO: All Employees
FROM: The Manager
RE: The CEO and our New Hire

Please note that the CEO has hit a wall with training the New Guy. Specifically, he has developed a bout of emetophobia, or a fear of vomit (or, in the case of N.Lo, spit-up). According to our company doctor, spitting up for new employees will typically diminish around 6 mos. of employment with the company; however, we are at 5 1/2 mos., N.Lo is learning to sit up, and the spit-up keeps on coming. The Laundry Facilities continue to operate at maximum capacity, churning out bibs and burp cloths and employee uniforms at top speed. And The CEO could not be more grossed out.

Also note that The Manager finds this baby-specific emetophobia highly entertaining.

To address the situation, Management has redivided workplace responsibilities during the Evening and Weekend Shifts. The CEO works more frequently with the Kitchen Staff, while The Manager tends to our small employees. This saves The CEO from the mopping duties that turn his stomach, and in turn saves The Manager from a serious case of Dishpan Hands.

We feel this resolution suits our company needs well for the time being, and thank the entire staff for its cooperation.

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1 peanuts:
  1. Megan says:

    The CEO at my company has the same phobia, which is getting worse since our newest hire's spit up is getting MORE frequent! Ack!