I have found it helpful, as a Manager, to assign a series of alternate names to each employee, which serve simultaneous purposes:

  1. They show affection. (For real.)
  2. They mask extreme annoyance in the face of flagrant ECC violations such as needless repetition and whining.

For example:

“Manager?”

“Yes, K.Lo?”

“Manager?”

“Yes, Sweetie?”

“Manager?”

Yes, Sweet Darling. What can I do for you.”

“Manager?”

“SWEET GIRL. WHAT. DO. YOU. NEED.”

“Manager?”

“IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT IT IS YOU WANT, WE’RE GOING TO MARCH YOU DOWN TO THE STREET CORNER WITH A BIG FOR SALE SIGN AROUND YOUR NECK! MY DARLING CHILD.”

“Manager?”

And sometimes it is better to remain silent, lest one’s head burst. Because who wants to spend time scrubbing pesky brain matter off the wall.

 

Sweet

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5 peanuts:
  1. now that's fucking awesome.

    halla!

  1. Megan says:

    I'm with you on the multiple names bit. 'Sweet Baby' is my go to name. And then 'Sweet Baby Girl.' Beyond that, it's a matter of whatever my about to explode brain can come up with!

    (I have this idea that the pic of K.Lo looks just like you when you were a two year employee. Am I right?)

  1. Andria says:

    Love that face!
    I know exactly what you mean - say nice things in direct proportion to your frustration level. . it's a feeble attempt to keep your wits (and brain matter?) about you.

  1. penelope says:

    Funny--I had a picture in mind to post alongside it, but it's a matter of getting a copy. She's the spitting image of her Manager!

  1. Kurt says:

    I always used "Peanut" or, referring to the group, "Little Monsters."