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I have found it helpful, as a Manager, to assign a series of alternate names to each employee, which serve simultaneous purposes:
- They show affection. (For real.)
- They mask extreme annoyance in the face of flagrant ECC violations such as needless repetition and whining.
For example:
“Manager?”
“Yes, K.Lo?”
“Manager?”
“Yes, Sweetie?”
“Manager?”
“Yes, Sweet Darling. What can I do for you.”
“Manager?”
“SWEET GIRL. WHAT. DO. YOU. NEED.”
“Manager?”
“IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT IT IS YOU WANT, WE’RE GOING TO MARCH YOU DOWN TO THE STREET CORNER WITH A BIG FOR SALE SIGN AROUND YOUR NECK! MY DARLING CHILD.”
“Manager?”
And sometimes it is better to remain silent, lest one’s head burst. Because who wants to spend time scrubbing pesky brain matter off the wall.
now that's fucking awesome.
halla!