image MEMO

TO: The Two-Year Employee

FROM: The Manager

RE: Investment

Please be advised that after this past Work Week or so, I am strongly considering investing in a pair of noise-canceling headphones, to be worn at such times of the day when you insist on repeating the following phrases in decidedly un-dulcet tones:

“Manager, Manager. Manager, Manager. Manager, Manager.”

“Let’s play. Come on. Now. LET’S PLAY, MANAGER.”

The kicker here is that the words, “Let’s play,” are customary heartstring-pullers. Guilt-trippers. Pity-petitioners. It’s a crafty move, I’ll grant you that, because the use of these touchy words make it difficult to complain without casting the employee as “neglected,” and The Manager as “witch.” You know what, though, darlin’? I do play with you. Lots and lots and lots. And I enjoy it, quite a bit. But I cannot and will not feel guilty for having to do other things sometimes. Things (like chores) that are also a mandatory part of my job description, and other things (like reading) that keep me sane.

The more you interrupt, the longer it will take me to finish my boring, non-employee-centered work. And the more you pester, the quicker my sanity will dissolve.

A different approach: I love that you want to play, I love the actual play, and I know that all too quickly there will come a day when you no longer want to play, with or without me. But you know what I also love? Seeing that sometimes, you are still able to entertain yourself. I love to see K.Lo imagine on her own, and babble, and run from this corner of the room to that, lost in the boundless fun of whatever she’s dreaming up. As your Manager, I’d like to see more of this self-directed work throughout your day, before it, too, comes to an all-too-early end.

Thank you for your cooperation.


The Manager

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2 peanuts:
  1. Kurt says:

    New rule: no using the manager's name more than three times in a row, except for in emergencies.