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So much of managing seems to be pretending you don't care, even when you do. Of course you do. You want your employees to develop good work habits, to be productive, to be the best employees they can possibly be. But wearing this desire on your sleeve is not always the best strategy to achieve those results.
All that being said, it is proving quite a challenge to play it cool in the face of K.Lo's latest work habit. I hear many small employees approaching two years with a company are prone to small uprisings when their demands are not met. They wish, in fact, to be the manager, when of course this wish is not possible. The simple fact that the manager has been on this earth longer than the employee establishes the pecking order.
But I digress. K.Lo has taken to expressing her employee dissatisfaction in the following manner: a searing look, a pause as though gearing up, clenched fists, and then an extremely loud shout. It is a true "barbaric yawp," if I have ever heard one, and it has made every one of us at Lo. Co. jump out of our skin. Poor N.Lo has been subjected to K.Lo's outcry while in the break room, innocently eating his lunch.
It is very hard not to react, but as The Manager, I feel like it's the quickest way for this habit to be broken. The CEO takes his own approach, which is to match her volume and adamance in telling her that the yawp is not acceptable. I don't mind at this point that our approaches are different; the CEO can be quite intimidating when training employees, and she needs to hear it in that way from someone. But not from me. Because I spend all day, every day with K.Lo, I choose to fight this particular battle with a different managerial strategy. Depending on the nuances of the moment, I might pretend I didn't hear the yawp for several seconds, then ask her if there's something she would like. Or I might whisper, "We don't do that. If you need something, use your words and ask nicely." Or, if we are out in public, I might take her arm and get in her face a little, tell her in a low voice that yelling in a store is absolutely not acceptable.
Wussy, or effective? You decide. Or time will decide. Note that the behavior just started three days ago, and has occurred a mere handful of times. But it really packs a punch--I just can't let her know that.
5 peanuts:
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I'm sure it's not really humorous, but imaging such a tiny person with such a powerful vocal showing makes me laugh at the dissonance.
But, I agree, Dellaina has had some similar moments and I just try to act unphased, with the pause and then calmly asking, "what would you like? Use your words, please." Kind of ignoring or not reacting I think is a powerful response or non-response as it may be.
It's a more difficult situation to address in public (something I've been pondering myself lately - discipline in public) but definitely think the calm approach is best, unless it doesn't stop the screaming, then it's just annoying to other patrons and comes off as non-parenting. It's a hard thing to balance, though, in my opinion.
Although, I admit, I have had moments similar to the CEO where I just for a moment loose it (say in the car when I am unable to do anything about the situation and yet the yelling continues at an alarming rate) and match the volume and tone. It usually leads to more hysterics, though, so, I don't reccommend that approach, personally.
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This CEO is over the 2s already as well. Our employee is at a stage of throwing himself on the floor and shrieking for no appartent reason. Lately, this has started happening on excusions as well. It is easier to ignore at the office...not so easy when in the middle of the street....sigh...
The CEOs at this office are hoping this atage will pass before deciding to return the employee to the unemplyment office until he goes to college...sigh...
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Yawn and calm is best. With the ocassional surprise reaction but not the following...
On the employee tantrum front, my mother in law had it suggested that when her child do that, she should pickup the tantrum thrower and run cold water over the workers head... worked with the unintended side effect that worker even as a most senior worker cannot tolerate cold water on head.
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I think the two-pronged approach is wise. I don't have two-legged employees, but with my four-legged employee, I often find that repetitive behaviors occur when the employee knows the behavior is having its intended effect on management (such as kicking litter out of the box in the early morning hours to speed breakfast).
Sounds like you're doing a good job of picking your battles. And it's really about supply and demand - she'll see that her demands will use up your supply of patience.
I think you're doing the right thing. It's bad enough to spy a screaming child in a public place-- a screaming parent only makes the whole scene uglier.