One thing that must be noted about my career: I went into it without a lot of managerial experience, with very little background. I never managed in the past for pay, and had very little experience in general with small employees. Why I decided to become a manager is perhaps material for another workday, another file in the cabinet, but for now let me say that before entering into this career, there were certain managerial practices that I found off-putting, that I did not picture myself using. One of these practices is holding multiple conversations while taking calls.

The Regional Manager informs me that it must be an American Tradition for employees to demand a lot of attention the instant a call comes through on the office phone. So true. Every day during Lunch Hour, our CEO checks in on the company to see how things are running. Lately, K.Lo specifically requests to speak with the CEO, wishing to report on her current project. For example, today she was eating an orange, and so whispered, "Or-nage," (pronounced just this way) three or four times into the phone. Yesterday, it was "Chick-en," as she was eating chicken, and the day before that, it was "Shirt," as she had just put on a shirt. She follows this report (prompted by The Manager) with, "Bye-bye, Dad-dy," and "I loves you, Dad-dy," also spoken slowly and in a whisper.

This exemplary employee phone etiquette is case in point: When the employee speaks with the CEO, all rolls magically well, but when The Manager is speaking, employee requests for assistance automatically skyrocket. N.Lo is suddenly starving, K.Lo has done something or other with her employee meal that requires twenty napkins, N.Lo needs to be held, K.Lo needs to be held, employee conflicts arise because clearly both cannot be held at once, and then they all need a diaper change. And possibly some time in the Employee Bath.

I feel so often like one of those managers on TV, in a scene where the kids are screeching, the dogs are barking, and the manager is shouting above it all, trying to dispel the chaos surrounding her, all while holding a conversation with a client or business associate on the other end of the phone. The manager is distracted, the conversation disjointed. It's loud and frantic, where I prefer calm and cool. On TV, it's supposed to be funny, maybe because it's just true? I find it a little obnoxious, myself. Surely there must be another way to do things? But who am I to mess with tradition.