Our office would like to hire a new Laundry Manager. Candidate skill set will include, but not be limited to the following: sorting, washing, drying, folding, and distributing employee uniforms. Also, the quality of Acceptance, as opposed to Denial, would be helpful, as in, this person should be able to notice and accept the growing laundry pile, rather than denying its existence until said laundry pile sprouts own limbs and head and threatens to overthrow our organization.

Glittery wings and magic wand a plus. Positive attitude a must. Salary: TBD--okay, let's be honest, it pays nothing.

Now accepting applications. Anyone? Anyone? Or at the very least, the name of a tarp supplier for New Employees?