Recently, a colleague posted “Managerial Confessions: No Apologies,” inviting other managers to do the same, and material has been brewing in my mind since. It’s a difficult job, requiring innumerable skills and strength like no other occupation, and we Managers do what we have to do. So, without further ado, my own Managerial Confessions… remember, you may judge if you like, but this Manager’s not apologizing!

• I view popcorn as a perfectly nutritious whole-grain, and so it is acceptable to serve any time of day. I don’t buy the fake-yellow kind, just so you know.
• Also, pickles are pickled cucumbers, and so they are vegetables. I do not buy the kind containing high-fructose corn syrup. 
• My children eat their veggies, and proteins and whole grains, but they also eat Pop-Tarts, and waffles with syrup, and candy as a treat. Juice (100% fruit) is mixed into the water they drink.
• Chocolate can and will be used as a bribe in our office.
• The gummy snacks that my employees so adore do contain HFCS, but ask me if I care.
• Our employees end up eating a lot of the same foods every day. This list includes hot dogs, pasta, chicken nuggets, and PB&J sandwiches. Basic fare for the under 5 set. At some point, they will be required to eat the same meal as Management, but for now, eh. They small, picky little creatures, and that’s the way it is here at Lo.Co.
• The employees are allowed to eat and drink in the Conference Room. No drinks on the couch, but otherwise, I don’t have a problem with it.
• I don’t appreciate guests in our office who sniffily comment that their own children are not allowed to eat in rooms other than the kitchen. What exactly is your point. This is not your office, nor are you Manager here. If we are at your office, we will respect and abide by that rule.
• K.Lo still at times struggles with use of the Employee Rest Room, and it frustrates me to no end. Mainly it is a battle of wills at this point, as she is fine outside the office. While working, however, she often would rather stay at her desk rather than bother to go pee, and so, yeah... This topic of conversation makes smoke come out of my ears on most days, much as I wish I could let it go. Because I know that the problem a) will be solved by the time K.Lo goes to college and/or b) will no longer be my problem when she is in college.
• My employees are allowed to watch training videos. If training video screening is not part of your Management style, that is lovely, but I prefer to expose my children to current technology, because not only do I enjoy TV myself, but I suspect that if never exposed during training, employees have the potential to one day become TV junkies. Such as when they go off to college, a.ka. the place where peeing your pants becomes your own problem.
• I view training videos as a pleasant diversion and yes, a way to get the children out of your hair once in awhile. Isn’t that why God invented it? I enjoy seeing K.Lo act out stories she’s seen on one of her shows, and also I feel it’s noteworthy that my employees aren’t typically so captivated that they are unable to play while watching. In fact, they play quite a bit while training videos roll in the background. Because they are used to it.
• I hate the heat of the blazing summer sun with the heat of a thousand. While I love, love spring and fall here, and winter is okay, too, I sort of loathe summer. It’s really too hot to play outside very much. And so, we spend a lot of it indoors. And we live right by the beach, but rarely go, despite our grand plans.
• Speaking of the beach, while I love the idea of going out there with a good book and meditating on the waves, the reality is um, a little different. There’s the aforementioned sun issue. Sand. Safety. I won’t elaborate, because I rather doubt many of you will be on board, but it all adds up to one giant pain in the ass.
• K.Lo has a TV in her room, and sleeps with it on. Yes, I know. Every managerial “expert” on the planet would advise otherwise, and I know this because I’ve read all their books. What these charming people do not have to do is manage the Night Shift in our office, which is already a fractured, frustrating experience -- one that directly affects Day Shift performance for all involved parties. So, TV it is. It has been, hands down, the best solution to our nighttime woes. Also worth mentioning is that N.Lo does not, nor has ever even remotely needed such a setup in his room in order to fall asleep. And K.Lo has, occasionally, noticed.

I perhaps have other confessions. But that is all for now.