Some notes for the Manager’s files, wherein she over-thinks everything. She realizes that there’s more to life than work, and that’s she’s bigger than the employees, has been working much longer. But still. 

• Training for N.Lo in the Employee Rest Room will not begin until he is at least 2 1/2 years old. There are several logical, reasonable arguments to be made here, but the biggest reason, above all? I am in no rush whatsoever to discover that I am a complete and utter failure at the ERR Training Process. Because at times, with an Iron-Willed Employee, it kind of feels like that’s true. And the thought of cleaning up the floor after two children does not at all appeal. To put it mildly. Not to mention the Laundry Fairy would have a(nother) fit.
• On the other hand, sometimes I think N.Lo is here in this office to remind me that I am not, actually, a bad manager. Typical managerial tricks of the trade work with N.Lo. And while I occasionally gripe at N.Lo, I’m hard-pressed to think of a time when I’ve really yelled at him. N.Lo brings out my better side. It’s makes me a little sad to say that, as though I think N.Lo is a better employee. Not true: I love both equally. And fiercely. But K.Lo is undoubtedly more of a challenge.
• K.Lo, an employee here for nearly 4 years, truly does not understand who is boss. Or rather, she understands, but seeks to overthrow or best management at every. possible. turn. Sometimes I am up for the challenge, the creativity, the battle. The dance. Sometimes I am just tired of it. Makes the ever-important *consistency* difficult…
• I do realize that in the grand scheme of things, the day-to-day passes all too quickly, and before we know it, the employees will be out in the world. I make every effort to appreciate the employees at each stage and the career journey itself. I see the gifts; I know them well. Practically speaking, however, employee respect for management is pretty key. Basic. Essential. Because I can appreciate the little renegade so much, until she runs into traffic and refuses to move because she “doesn’t want to,” or “doesn’t care.”
• Lastly, on detachment in the workplace: I don’t get it, but do I need to study up? If a Manager shuts down her emotions to a degree, she benefits by remaining unruffled in conflict. But what is lost? Seems like positive emotions would be nixed as well. I ponder, only because otherwise, I’m out of answers on how to address a strong employee will (with an apparently strong Managerial will).

That is all for tonight. In the meantime, will resist looking for all-day outsourcers and/or one-way ticket to Bora Bora.