Height: 34.75 inches (60th percentile). Grew 2 inches since 18-mos review.

Weight: 29.5 lbs (75th percentile). Hasn’t gained an ounce! Bye-bye, round belly...

Fully vaccinated. Was a bit torturous, but hopefully there will be a little less sickness around the office this winter. Mainly did well with checkup, although was highly insulted when not allowed to play with the choo-choos. (The waiting room was reserved for sick kiddos today.)

Smiles: Excellent.

Fashion sense: At times questionable.

Overall: Incredibly cute.

N.Lo *may* have been due for a Performance Review at 18 mos with the company, but you know how Managers are. They forget. They’re “too busy.” And before you know it, a month has gone by with no sit-down, no assessment, no acknowledgment of the employee’s growth or contributions to the company. Although, I’m quite sure this employee would have been just as happy to do without said review, as the appointment involved no raise and two shots. On the plus side, no further shots will be required until he has been with the company 5 years.

The Company Doctor’s office wasn’t at all busy this morning, which was both a good thing and a bad thing. Good thing because we would not have to wait as long. Bad thing, because we were sent right back into an examination room, bypassing the beloved Thomas the Train Table, play kitchen, and wooden castle that our employees so love to play with. And, there of course is always a wait time regardless, leaving the employees to entertain themselves with the minimal items available in the exam room: a lone, ripped up magazine, a single storybook, and Mommy’s keys. The train table is so much better.

N.Lo mainly cooperated for scale weighing and height measurement. He is 29.5 lbs (90th percentile—it’s all in that belly!) and 32.75 inches tall (70th percentile). His noggin was 75th percentile, although I couldn’t tell you the measurement. In general, the doctor was N.Lo’s friend this visit, providing good conversation, a Hot Wheels sticker, and very few pokes and prods, while the poor nurse remained his mortal enemy with all the weighing and measuring and finally, the dreaded shots.

K.Lo, meanwhile, was an angel for the duration of this visit, until the end, when we had to leave. A few minutes of train/castle time was permitted during checkout, but then the kicking and screaming at our departure ensued… How long before it becomes weird, hanging out for fun at the Company Doctor’s? One other Manager in the waiting room noted the irony here, of trying to pry a child away from the pediatrician’s office. Poor K.Lo. I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunity to play there in the future. There was certainly an excess of visits this past winter! 

N.Lo also has Keratosis Pilaris (KP), which is also referred to as Chicken Skin. Ironic, considering our weekend excursion? Perhaps. But, he has always had bumps on his cheeks, arms and legs from a very young age, with ruddiness in the wind and cold. And when crying, or exerting himself physically. The doctor advised that it’s simply who he is, just a genetic thing. Fortunately, N.Lo is quite a handsome young man, red/bumpy cheeks or no. Wouldn’t you agree?

The fun continued here at The Lo.Co. this morning, with K.Lo still sick, and N.Lo still cutting teeth. I called in K.Lo’s absence to the Outsourcer, and just as I was explaining that we’d be going to see the Company Doctor, who would make her feel all better, she began wailing in misery that her mouth hurt. I should have known not to pick her up, should have shuttled her to the Employee Rest Room, but no, no, my protective Managerial instincts kicked in instead, and I swept her up into a big hug. My repayment: vomit all over my uniform. And K.Lo, and K.Lo’s hair, and the couch. And also the floor. Hooray. I’m not really sure how I convinced her that a bath would be a good idea, but I did, and at least got her cleaned off.

The Laundry Fairy is working overtime, currently, and is not super happy about it.

We made it to the Company Doctor, where the wait was shorter than I expected, i.e. under an hour. The employees surprised me by not playing at the numerous waiting room stations; they are usually big fans of the Thomas the Train table, as well as the pretend kitchen. Instead, they each climbed in a chair and looked around, perfectly content with observation. K.Lo was most accommodating with the Company Doctor, until the third time he cleaned out her ear in order to get a good look. The last go hurt, apparently, and her face sort of melted into a little puddle, and she wouldn’t talk to him for the rest of the visit. As soon as he left the room, however, she wanted to collect her sticker. Luckily, the nurses at the front desk met her wishes.

Prognosis: Fever. Well, I knew that, thankyouverymuch. She has a little bit of what looks like a viral rash on her arms and possibly legs, but her throat, nose, ears, and chest all checked out fine. So, if symptoms get worse, we go back in. Otherwise, we dose her with ibuprofen and suffer it out.

And also, pray that whatever “it” is, it is not contagious.

K.Lo visited the Company Doctor today for her 3-year check-up and learned that she is in fact growing and smart, just as we suspected. She measured in at:

37 1/2 inches tall (50th percentile)

33 lbs (75th percentile)

Her BMI dropped from 85th percentile last year down to 65th, which put her well within the “normal and healthy” range. As opposed to the “cutely pudgy” range? Yes, BMI, they measure the BMI for 2 and 3-year-olds.

Moving on…

She was also able to identify the teeny-tiniest of figures on the eye chart, and was just as sweet and compliant as could be with the nurses and doctor. Her favorite part of the visit remains the sticker, and she usually charms her way into two, one from the doctor and one from the nurse at the front desk. Today’s choices were Sleeping Beauty and Barbie.

Meanwhile, I snuck in an exam for N.Lo as well, because he cannot shake this cold, or series of colds, has been under the weather for over a month. The doctor narrowed his symptoms down to a sinus infection, and prescribed the same antibiotics as he did for K.Lo’s ear infection, same dosage and everything, because well, N.Lo weighs 27 lbs. And I have the biceps to prove it! Hopefully, the antibiotics will work, and we can move on toward becoming a fully healthy company once again. 

K.Lo called in sick on the Night Shift around 4AM. She whimpered for hours and once coherent, Management realized that she might have an ear infection. Off to the Company Doctor we went for the second time this week, where indeed, K.Lo was found to have an ear infection. She was shockingly compliant and polite as could be with the doctor, a complete turnaround from her last visit.

You know your employee’s not feeling well when they think curling up with a metal muffin tin is the right thing to do. Hope you feel better soon, Miss Lo.

A trip to the Company Doctor today revealed that N.Lo is:

25.4 lbs (with his clothes on)

29.5 inches long

These measurements translate to 81st percentile for weight, and 34th percentile for height… apparently N.Lo is a little short, and not starving!

He also received a grand total of five shots today, including the chicken pox and flu vaccines. We will be going back to the doctor in about a month to receive the flu booster, and to get in the flu vaccine for K.Lo as well. For the over-two set, the flu vaccine is now in the form of a nasal spray, rather than a shot. Thankfully.

The time has come for N.Lo’s 9-mos. Performance Review. Today at the Company Doctor, N.Lo measured in at:

• 21.2 lbs. (70th percentile)
• 27 3/4 inches (50th percentile)

Also of note in the New Hire’s work performance:

• Could set the clock by his work schedule.
• Enthralled with his coworker’s office, loves to work there best.
• He has a few nicknames. Was deemed “Chill Pill” during the recent visit from our satellite offices. Has earned the CEO’s own early-career nickname of “Tiger,” particularly with his cub-like growl.
• He is now crawling, officially. Is working on improving his speed. (Movements choppy and cute when moving “fast.”)
• Also working on pulling up, starting to stand with feet flat. 
• Has a few yoga moves under his belt, such as Downward Dog.

• If you hold his hands to “walk,” he high-steps forward on his tip-toes.
• He has a larger and more varied diet than his coworker. And possibly Management.
• Will.not.stay.still for diaper changes.
• Remains of cheerful disposition with few grievances. Most frequent employee demand is slow service in the cafeteria.
• Appreciates an audience for his accomplishments in the workplace.

As previously noted, we've been having problems on the Night Shift. Again. Likely, this backslide is due K.Lo's intense work on the Twoville Molar Project; however, the problem source is really moot, since we've been through this song and dance before.

This work week, though, we're trying a new trick, as suggested by the Regional Manager. It's called "The Company Doctor Trick," recommended for two-year-employees. Before clocking into the Night Shift, The Manager informs the employee in a Very Serious Voice that the Company Doctor called earlier and spoke with Management. He told Management that K.Lo has to work all night at her desk. If her work is interrupted for whatever reason, she needs to hug her Work Buddy Doll and go back to work.

K.Lo may have been with the company long enough for this trick to work: I could see the wheels turning while I gave her the rundown. And--maybe it was a fluke, but she really did stay working on the Night Shift straight through, her first uninterrupted shift in a week.

Either way, it just makes me laugh.

This trick can be adapted to address other big workplace issues with two-year employees. Try it out! And please share your story in the comments. The Company Doctor, even in theory, can strongly influence small employees.