Some notes regarding K.Lo's recent dealings with employee dress:

• As an employee that has been with the company almost 2 years, K.Lo has reached that stage in training where she likes to show up to work wearing no clothes. First the pants go, then the shirt, and lastly the socks. The employee is unable at this time to disrobe on her own and so requests assistance by saying, "Off?" and pulling at the offending article of clothing as though it is just getting in the way of her work. As The Manager, I frankly care little what she wears or does not wear around the office, but wonder, particularly in these winter months, is she not cold? I'm kind of cold, just looking at her. But wearing no clothing does seem to increase her level of productivity and overall employee satisfaction, so who am I to argue.


• During our recent visit from The Regional Manager, we discovered that K.Lo's hair is now long enough for pigtails. Pigtails! Her hair remains fine in texture and of course falls out of the holders quite a bit, but pigtails are possible. Also noteworthy, the employee would absolutely not tolerate any sort of hair accessorizing until I parked her in front of the mirror. Then she seemed to enjoy herself immensely.


• Shoes. Oh, shoes. This past September, K.Lo wanted something (bubbles, I think) up on the counter and thought she could get them by pulling down the magazine they were sitting on. Unfortunately, a heavy ceramic ramekin bowl was on top of the magazine as well, and landed smack on her big toe. The toe turned black and stayed black for months. Finally, the toenail grew back and looks healthy again, but ever since The Bowl Incident, K.Lo has been extraordinarily fussy about her footwear. The very sight of sneakers approaching her feet makes her kick and yell as though absolutely insulted. Most other shoe suggestions are met with, "No. No. No. No. No," etc. Robeez and Robeez-type shoes that are leather and soft-soled are wonderful indoors, but outdoors not so much. She seems to like Mary Jane-style shoes, so long as they are not too stiff. She's got a pair of beige Stride Rite boots with velcro that have plenty of toe room, and after months of ado, decided one day that they were acceptable. But girl employees need options, backup. So we went on a company outing--several company outings, actually--and it took four stores, innumerable fittings, countless rejections, several laughable employee suggestions, a shoe-induced meltdown or six, and the assistance of a kind and immeasurably patient saleslady to settle on CROCS. Purple crocs. Escalator hazards be damned, the kid will wear her Crocs, puts her Crocs on herself, talks about how much she loves her Crocs, shows her Crocs to strangers in the store. So, thanks very much, we will take the Crocs.