Attention all staff,

Please be advised that there is something going around here at The Lo. Co, something highly contagious. That something is lack of sleep. Productivity on the Night Shift is at a real low, and you might easily find yourself affected by the following symptoms:

grouchiness
heightened sensitivity
diminishing cuteness
trouble operating office equipment
difficulty with sentence formation
evil look in the eye
hair standing on end

If you happen to catch this thing that's going around, please don't come crying to Management. We have no sympathy, since you're probably the culprit behind the outbreak. That is all.

Sincerely,
The Manager.