It's hard being a Two-Year Employee. The Man(ager) is constantly trying to keep a little girl down. K.Lo has been spending a lot of time at the Twoville Offices the past few days, heeding the atrocious advice of Twoville Management, which encourages usurping managerial power in the home office. On one hand, The Manager feels a little sorry for K.Lo, who is so obviously trying to harness control over her environment when she calls out things such as:

MANAGER! Come BACK! MANAGER!

Because it's kind of sad that she doesn't want the Managerial Staff to leave her. However, my empathy begins to wane when the pitch becomes even louder, more insistent, and demanding:

MANAGER! NOW!

Now? That's just plain rude. This sort of behavior is not at all in line with our Company Code of Conduct.

Unfortunately, how does Management tend to reprimand rule-breaking employees in escalated situations?

K.LO, STOP [Code of Conduct-violating behavior] NOW.

Huh. I'd say "oops" about this choice of syntax, but I don't feel it to be a faulty one. I have since realized just how important word choice is when disciplining employees, and while (clearly) still imperfect and unable to think on the fly, I do think about these word choices carefully.

The word "NOW," uttered in a demanding, bossy tone is okay for The Manager. It is not okay for employees.

But, all good Managers choose their battles. Employees need to be allocated some of that decision-making control. I confess that I do find it exhausting, all day long, choosing which battles will be won by Management, and which will be given to K.Lo.

For instance, during today's Afternoon Break, the employee put up quite a fuss, which The Manager typically treats with stony, removed silence. However, after the fuss extended and then escalated, I realized that K.Lo simply wanted to nap on the floor. You want to nap on the floor? Fine, great! Nap on the floor! I helped the employee situate her pillow and blanket, and her eyes went so wide with shock that it took just minutes for her to close them completely and finally, at long last, clock out from the Morning Shift.

It is a difficult, draining dance between a Manager and a Two-Year Employee. I curse those Twoville Offices, wish failure and desertion on their facilities. I am resolved, however, to triumph over their abominable influences and reign supreme. In the meantime, poor K.Lo will have to live, more or less, with being kept down by The Man(ager).

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  1. ashley says:

    Poor K.Lo. She's become so assertive. I think the Twoville Offices perhaps operate in anarchy? Soldier on, Manager, soldier on!