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Needless to say, it’s wearing a little thin. While Management remains proud of N.Lo’s strides and wishes to encourage skill set development wherever possible, we can only hope the learning curve kicks in soon, or that N.Lo can be satisfied with working on a different set of projects, rather than only training to be a superhero.
Sitting in his coworker's shadow
Most employees would say, "TGIFriday!" but not N.Lo. Today, N.Lo is a disgruntled employee. Today, he has begun to realize his limits regarding employee mobility.
He watches his coworker from his work station and daydreams: One day, if he works hard enough, he will be promoted to standing, walking, and finally running employee. Until then, he is stuck in the same old daily grind. Sitting. Sitting wherever he assigned by Management, limited to the projects and office supplies set before him.
N.Lo has filed his complaint to the higher-ups, expressing his current dissatisfaction with his position in the company. Small employees have big dreams, and The Manager has taken N.Lo's career goals under advisement. Together, Management and employee will work together and devise a plan to put N.Lo on the Fast Track for reaching those goals.
MEMO
To: N.Lo
From: The Manager
Re: Speaking Up
Please be advised (my darling little employee) that if you find your working conditions less than satisfactory, you are encouraged and even required to speak up. Voice your concern to The Manager, who will address that concern accordingly. That means, next time, should your eardrum rupture, it is okay to complain! Even be in a bad mood! Before two whole weeks have passed, and Your Manager still hasn't done anything about it because nothing seems to be bothering you, other than a little ear gunk.
So, fuss a little, please! Stop smiling and being all cute and pleasant! File that Sick Leave Request. Just keep The Manager apprised, it's all I ask.
This increased effort toward clear communication will ensure that our company operates at maximum productivity, with minimum levels of employee dissatisfaction. Thank you kindly for your cooperation. My sweet little N.Lo.
Sincerely,
Your Manager
It's hard being a Two-Year Employee. The Man(ager) is constantly trying to keep a little girl down. K.Lo has been spending a lot of time at the Twoville Offices the past few days, heeding the atrocious advice of Twoville Management, which encourages usurping managerial power in the home office. On one hand, The Manager feels a little sorry for K.Lo, who is so obviously trying to harness control over her environment when she calls out things such as:
MANAGER! Come BACK! MANAGER!
Because it's kind of sad that she doesn't want the Managerial Staff to leave her. However, my empathy begins to wane when the pitch becomes even louder, more insistent, and demanding:
MANAGER! NOW!
Now? That's just plain rude. This sort of behavior is not at all in line with our Company Code of Conduct.
Unfortunately, how does Management tend to reprimand rule-breaking employees in escalated situations?
K.LO, STOP [Code of Conduct-violating behavior] NOW.
Huh. I'd say "oops" about this choice of syntax, but I don't feel it to be a faulty one. I have since realized just how important word choice is when disciplining employees, and while (clearly) still imperfect and unable to think on the fly, I do think about these word choices carefully.
The word "NOW," uttered in a demanding, bossy tone is okay for The Manager. It is not okay for employees.
But, all good Managers choose their battles. Employees need to be allocated some of that decision-making control. I confess that I do find it exhausting, all day long, choosing which battles will be won by Management, and which will be given to K.Lo.
For instance, during today's Afternoon Break, the employee put up quite a fuss, which The Manager typically treats with stony, removed silence. However, after the fuss extended and then escalated, I realized that K.Lo simply wanted to nap on the floor. You want to nap on the floor? Fine, great! Nap on the floor! I helped the employee situate her pillow and blanket, and her eyes went so wide with shock that it took just minutes for her to close them completely and finally, at long last, clock out from the Morning Shift.
It is a difficult, draining dance between a Manager and a Two-Year Employee. I curse those Twoville Offices, wish failure and desertion on their facilities. I am resolved, however, to triumph over their abominable influences and reign supreme. In the meantime, poor K.Lo will have to live, more or less, with being kept down by The Man(ager).
Attention Canine Staff,
Please be advised any and all grumbling toward The Managerial Staff or its employees when we ask you to move does not go unnoticed, and is, in fact, not appreciated.
Also, we do not control the weather outside our office, and it is not actually our fault that it's too cold and/or rainy to go out and play. But we do understand your dissatisfaction with these conditions and will do what we can to compensate. Do note that K.Lo is currently in training for work in the Canine Branch, learning to toss the ball indoors, say "drop" when you bring it back, and toss the ball again, all the while congratulating you. We feel instituting these measures will enable a more productive work day all around.
If you have any questions or concerns regarding these matters, please see me.
Sincerely,
The Manager
DISCLAIMER: I love and enjoy my staff, I truly do. I realize there will be good work days and bad. I know small employees--well, employees of all ages, really--hit roadblocks while training, and before you know it, they are over the hump. I know each stage of training has its positives, as well as its drawbacks.
But. May I say (and I absolutely hate saying it), I am finding it very difficult to enjoy the employee who is approaching two years with the company. If only there were a store that sold more patience. All day long the employee shreds through my existing supply, with the incessant and repeated requests for off-limit items, items that the office is out of, and/or items that don't make any sense at all. The squealing, the screeching, the whining, the fussing, the overall shrillness totally cramps our usual laid-back office style, throwing the entire company off kilter. So much of our days lately are a Communication Workshop gone wrong.
K.Lo is so obviously struggling to do her job all on her own, to make the rules and force the rest of the office to follow them. Probably she is vying for position of Manager, ambitious as she is to advance in her career. Clearly, this end is not possible, and so we are at a crossroads, the Junior Staff and I.
I understand her position, I can see her point of view. I am just, quite simply, annoyed by it, or at least by the way her discontent is coming across. One day soon, maybe (hopefully), she will show up to work satisfied, once again, with the job she's got.
An insight into our enigmatic employee.
K.Lo: Up up up up up up up up up?
The Manager: [Sighs, restrains from driving ice pick into ear canal.] I can't pick you up right now, I am holding N.Lo.
K.Lo: No? Up? [Looks terribly distressed.] N.Lo get down?
It appears as though interoffice competition is heating up.
As recently noted, K.Lo now seems to require her manager's presence and attention at all possible moments of the day, and even the impossible ones. Like when clocking in for the Night Shift. Or during Managers Only excursions. Or even on trips to the Executive Bathroom. Many deep breaths are required to address this high level of demand. I have feigned deafness, I have employed sympathy, I have come very close to tearing out large clumps of my own hair. As I left the office this morning to go out and purchase some supplies, K.Lo ran screaming toward the door and landed in a pitiful little heap of tears, screaming for Her Manager. This afternoon, I temporarily conceded to her going on break out in the Conference Room, with me, if she needed my assistance so badly, but then she refused to really go on break and so back to her own cubicle she went. But it was still difficult, when she had been doing so well.
A tiny, dumb part of me is flattered that she requires my assistance only, and so adamently? The past few days, she has been very interested in asking for and playing with my desk toys specifically, rather than her own, like the little red double-decker bus I bought in London. Or she will request to use my kitchen supplies, even though she has a million of her own.
On the other hand, although I meet her requests for assistance wherever possible, K.Lo does not seem particularly responsive to having her manager around. Employee dissatisfaction remains high, as she continues to complain about her position in the company, employee benefits, my managerial style, etc. It feels very much like a lose-lose situation.
Part of me feels inclined, as a manager, to analyze this situation, to try and figure it out. Like if I could just figure out what the problem is, the "why" behind this behavior, then I could take steps to fix it. Maybe she is feeling competition with her coworker. Maybe she is having trouble with a project, such as growing teeth. Maybe she's just approaching her 2-year review.
These past few days, I can't help doubting my abilities and effectiveness as manager. Or as a person. I'm constantly exasperated, out of patience. I remind myself that K.Lo is such a great employee, and I am so lucky to have her on staff. I tell myself there are far worse employee-manager situations than ours, that I am lucky to even be a manager at all. I fast-forward in my mind to years from now when I will look back on the start-up years of our company and feel sad that I can't have them back. I am out of ideas on how to approach this stage in training, other than like all the others, which is one step at a time.
Ironically, when Working Overtime, one cannot expect a high level of productivity. In fact, managers would do better to expect the opposite, as so much time and energy is put into training just one employee, there is little time and energy left over for anything else. The Housekeeping Staff, for instance, cops an attitude and goes on break until the overtime stretch is completed. The Kitchen Staff, too, is often sighted kicking back, filing nails and flipping through magazines until it's too late to plan or make a dinner; then they call and order take out. It's completely audacious, but employees will take advantage of The Manager's preoccupation.
Although Overtime has its purpose, and although it is too hectic a time at the company to expect operations to run smoothly, it is still disheartening to see employee progress backslide. Of course, The New Guy cannot be expected to work well on The Night Shift during Overtime. It would be lovely, though, if K.Lo would. On the other hand, it also makes logical sense that while The Manager is attending so intensively to N.Lo, K.Lo might generally feel neglected. She might scream, whine, and dance The Unhappy Dance whenever The Manager steps two feet away, much less out of the room. She might look panicked at regular intervals, reach out her arms, and say, "Up up up up up up up up up?" approximately 1,200 times. Her face might turn pink, her hair might rat up, and she might just be absolutely pitiful.
She might, with this steady fire of discontent, light the fuse of impatience that will burn its way up to The Manager and eventually explode.
It's also very possible that K.Lo is teething, and/or that her diapers are bothering her, or maybe she's just in a bad mood. Sometimes a manager will never know exactly what is bothering her employee. Regardless of the "why" behind whatever she is going through, it is difficult to manage with patience, particularly during overtime. And frustrating that the problem might be lessened or nonexistent if overtime weren't occurring at all.
The Manager just needs to remember (once again!), This too shall pass.
