To: All Lo. Co. employees and visitors to our office
From: The Manager
Re: Vagrants seen loitering around the office

Please be advised that occasionally you might encounter a vagabond or two here at our company. The Manager has conversed with each individual vagabond, and both have a unique situation and story. Should you find their stories troubling, it is fine to overlook the vagabonds, though at first you may do a double-take: They could pass for doppelgangers of our own staff members. 

Vagabond A: Looks just like the New Guy, but has no home. Ousted from his permanent work space 4 weeks ago, Vagabond A sleeps wherever, works wherever, plays wherever. Rumors around the office suggest that Management is working as fast as they can to resolve the issue, but until then, this vagabond will likely be seen loitering... pretty much anywhere. He is for the most part, though, friendly and approachable.

Vagabond B: Looks just like K.Lo, except a little out of her mind. This vagabond alternately refuses to wear select pieces or the entirety of the employee uniform. Her hair is wild, and if you try to even touch one lock of it, she'll shake her head and pull out whatever ornament you had the audacity to try and clip on there. One moment she's singing and dancing and jumping around happily, and a heartbeat later, she's screaming and running in circles and thrashing about. She is, to her credit, learning to use the Employee Rest Room. (Yes, we do have to allow her in.) She is terribly unpresentable, overall, and it is to The Manager's relief that this vagabond rarely requests to leave the office; if a company excursion is mandatory, Vagabond B *typically* can be coaxed into suitable attire. She will entertain you, but in general, please approach with caution. 

As Vagabond B refuses to be photographed, I have included three visual representations: 1) How the vagabond would look if dressed in proper employee attire, 2) How the vagabond would look (somewhat presentable) if she'd at least put a barrette or two in her hair, and 3) How the vagabond normally appears, in spite of all Managerial efforts. 


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6 peanuts:
  1. you seriously cannot write such hilarious posts and expect me to not be in pain from stupid ab muscles not working correctly...
    the freakin' doll is a riot! i miss you guys!

  1. Andria says:

    I'm dying over here, too! That's hilarious!! love the doll! And totally feel your pain on so many aspects. . that vagabond B gets around, because she's surely been loitering in our office fairly regularly as well!

  1. thats why we give them a drop of rum at dinner time.

  1. laura says:

    That doll is CREEPY.

  1. penelope says:

    Can't wait to see what Ellie picks out. :)

  1. ashley says:

    I heart K.Lo. She just makes her own way.

    Perhaps she's really trying to embrace the Little Orphan Annie look?