Occasionally, the CEO and The Manager *might* use the two-year employee to deliver interdepartmental messages purely for their own entertainment. K.Lo, who doubles as the company parrot, is usually more than happy to be our medium. Some recent examples:

 

Message delivered to the CEO, from The Manager

[After solving a puzzle early on in Wheel of Fortune]: “Fancy Boy!”

 

Message delivered to The Manager, from the CEO

“Manager, you’re cruising.” [For a bruising.] She pointed at me and everything.

 

Backfired message

The CEO: Who do you love?

K.Lo: ME!

(Which isn’t necessarily bad, I suppose.)

 

We’ve also had several delivery failures over the past few days, as K.Lo has apparently forgotten how to address the CEO. His new name is “Mom-Daddy.” And N.Lo, for the longest time, has been “K.Lo’s sister.”

And then, my personal favorite: K.Lo, being a Highly Sensitive Employee (HSE), can often anticipate when Management is trying to divert the employee’s attention away from her goal, based on the most subtle of cues. And if she’s in a bad mood, the situation will escalate, however light Management’s tone. In fact, the lighter the tone, the more ornery K.Lo tends to become. For instance, at the end of a recent l o n g workday, I said to K.Lo, “Now K.Lo, if you would simply consult your Employee Handbook, you would find…”

And in return, I got, “NO. I DON’T WANT THE HANDBOOK.”

That’s verbatim, ladies and gentlemen. Communication with a two-year employee can be truly delightful.