This past Tuesday, K.Lo’s class at the Outsourcer performed its annual Christmas show. Sadly, my one “still” shot came out blurry, and the video job was questionable at best for reasons that will soon be clear. The theme this year was based on the idea of sleeping while Santa comes to visits, so the employees were all asked to wear their Night Shift uniforms. Additionally, they had painted pillowcases with yellow stars and their names. At the beginning of the show, they all laid down on the floor with their “pillows.”

But let’s back up. If you recall, K.Lo traditionally melts down upon entering the performance room and sits with Management for the duration of the show, inconsolable. So this time, would she perform? Even wear her pj’s? We all know that K.Lo is no monkey and will not dance on command.

In a change from previous performances, likely due to age and awareness, K.Lo talked about the show in the days leading up to it, and said happily that she was going to sing for Mommy and Daddy. Management assured her that it would be wonderful if she sang, but it was also okay to sit with us, too. We were very curious how it would all unfold.

K.Lo did in fact wear her pajamas, and appeared borderline excited when marching in with her classmates to the performance room. She did see us, but did not attempt to leave the line, even to say hi. Then, as the realization of all the people in the room began to dawn on her (and there are a lot of people), she shut down. All we essentially got out of the employee was the dirtiest look seen south of the North Pole, echoing one clear sentiment: betrayal.

Alas, little one. Frankly, the Manager doesn’t blame you. We’re proud that you wore your jammies, proud that you stood up there with your class, proud of no tears. Additionally, the Manager was most amused, not only by the glare that is clearly the product of genetics, but also by the hiding behind the piano that occurred during the second and third songs. And lastly, that you quickly let it all go, having a grand celebration Happy Meal lunch, complete with light-up Avatar horse, at Old McDonald’s.

Who knows, maybe next time, you might even sing! In the meantime, glad we get to hear your songs around the office.

The video is poor, but perhaps you can find K.Lo in her Tinkerbell footie pajamas, attempting to shatter the camera lens with her searing glare of death: