Policies

• For select art projects, particularly those created at The Outsourcer, the Manager has procured a designated filing box. The filing box will be given to the employee upon transfer from our company, i.e. 15+ years from now. The Manager is big on nifty storage.
• Toys will no longer be stored overnight in the Conference Room. A limited toy selection will be allowed each work day for use in the Conference Room, i.e. the Weebles, or the racecars, or the puzzles. Each night they will be returned to each employee’s respective cubicle. The Manager is also big on reducing clutter, not to mention equal use of all office supplies.

Rumor Mill

• Whispers have been recently heard throughout the company: Does our newest hire really know how to walk, but doesn’t want the rest of the staff to know? We’ve only seen him take a few steps here and there in the past several months, mostly he crawls. And because he prefers not to have his hands touched/manipulated, our training on this particular skill can only go so far. We’re fine with the not-walking, as Management’s job will only become more challenging when he is fully mobile. However, it is interesting that while the rest of us were preoccupied with various activities this evening, the CEO noticed out of the corner of his eye the following incident. N.Lo tossed a book a few feet away, hopped down from his stool, walked right over, bent down, picked up the book, stood up, and walked back over to the stool. !!! Also interesting that the employee strongly prefers to be picked up and carried places quite often throughout the workday, loudly voicing his dissatisfaction if the request is denied. Which leads Management to ponder whether the job actually will be more challenging, or not, when he does decide to walk. Silent Killer, indeed.

Attention Required

• As previously noted, N.Lo protests (as he should) when tormented by his coworker. However, it is is coming to Management’s attention that his own actions will need to be curbed soon enough. On more than one recent occasion, N.Lo has been spotted physically pulling K.Lo from the spot he wishes to be and pushing her to the side. (Pretty big moves for someone who allegedly can’t walk!) Such as out of a chair, of from her perch on a stool. K.Lo, stunned so far, has just let it happen. While Management wishes each employee to be able to defend him or herself, and/or to pursue his/her goals, we also do not wish to see any unnecessary physical conflicts and escalations arise as the employees continue to grow. Scheduled workshops in Conflict Resolution will be forthcoming.

Attention all employees,

This notice serves as a reminder of our company policy regarding whining. The Manager recognizes that employees, especially two-year employees, will whine. Since the dawn of time, small workers have operated under the misconception that whining is an effective way to communicate. And perhaps it can be, but not in our company. Here at The Lo. Co., whining falls on deaf ears. All employee demands and/or requests for assistance will only be acknowledged when spoken in a pleasant, or at least non-abrasive, manner.

I reiterate this policy for both your sake and mine. That is all.

Sincerely,
The Manager