• N.Lo loves (needs?) to mimic K.Lo in everything, which can be very cute, conducive to learning language, skills, etc. It also, sometimes, doesn’t make a bit of sense and can increase frustration all around, particularly when the action has nothing to do with N.Lo whatsoever. For instance, the other morning, K.Lo chose to throw a colossal tantrum re: a Snow White doll that was confiscated the day prior. The doll would only be returned to her if she went the entire day without a potty accident (TBD). She ranted and raved about the doll coming down from the shelf, etc. etc. etc., and N.Lo eventually chimed in. Simply stressed about the level his coworker was taking the conflict, N.Lo burst into tears and screamed, “Down! I want it down!” too. At this point, my entire head of hair turned gray and fell out in a big pile at my feet. I am now bald. Really.
• It works the other way as well. Being 2, N.Lo has occasionally tried his hand at whacking Management when he does not get his way. Firmly told that he cannot hit and must apologize, N.lo screams, writhes, plays a victim of torture at the very prospect of saying the Dreaded Word. (Sorry.) The Lo.Co. maintains a strict policy regarding this word and hitting, and under no circumstances do we allow violators to walk away. So after N.Lo has carried on for several minutes, K.Lo finally bursts into tears herself, out of sympathy, or as a response to stress, or maybe both, and defends her little brother. “He wants DADDY!” or whatever it is. Sigh.
• It’s no secret that the Lo.Co. is not a TV-free household. We like TV. The children are allowed to watch PBS/Nick Jr./Disney Channel, and we have a great selection of movies. It’s popular culture, and our company policy will not shelter the employees from it. However, TV is allowed regularly if and only if the employees continue to work while training videos play in the background. Should they become comatose little couch lumps, company policy will change. And I’m afraid it’s going to change, let’s just say: effective immediately. K.Lo will be allowed one movie, during N.Lo’s Afternoon Break. Period. The rest of the time, we might play music, or nothing. For awhile, anyway. A recent assessment of our overall viewing habits suggested that a little detox is in order.
• K.Lo continues to have accidents at home. Mainly, she does not wish to tear herself away from whatever activity she is engaged in to use the Employee Rest Room. It is ridiculous and frustrating and a lot of other words I do not use in this space. She does not have accidents outside the office, whether we are out on an errand or other company excursion, or if she is at the Outsourcer. At preschool, she does have a lot of help, and it is likely worked into the daily routine there. However, I feel that at 3 1/2, having demonstrated her proficiency time and time again, she should be able to handle a lot of it on her own in the office. It’s simply a bad work habit, and Management is working to break it. She loses a toy (a meaningful one) for every accident, and does not get said toy back until she goes the entire (next) day with no accidents. Therapy fodder for sure, but rest assured there is plenty of positive reinforcement in there as well. Another big sigh.
• Lastly, I have a question for our readers, possibly rhetorical. Regarding clean-up habits, i.e. picking up office supplies at the end of the work day, how much should Management push the issue? I feel kids are born with a certain inclination toward clean-up, with some being naturally neater than others, or simply more interested in the task of clean-up. N.Lo is, K.Lo is not. She simply never has been. She does help with cleanup, but it is frankly like pulling teeth, and some nights, I let it go. Whereas, N.Lo has always been inclined to help put things away. To me, the habit simply is what it is, neither good or bad; they are just wired that way. However, does that give K.Lo a free pass? I want her to learn how to be helpful and neat, as well as follow the rules. I know she must help out at preschool. At the end of a long work day, sometimes I am just not sure how hard to push the issue. Please advise in comments.

Apologies for the grouch level in this post. It’s a culmination of certain, chronic frustrations in the workplace. Otherwise, obviously, I adore both my employees and my work.

Lately, K.Lo is mesmerized by a show on Noggin called “Max & Ruby.” It’s about two bunnies, and frankly, it seemed a little boring to me at first, but there was a Halloween special available On Demand, and K.Lo seemed into it, so why not. After awhile, it hit me why she likes it so much. Max and Ruby are brother and sister bunnies. Ruby is the older sister who does most of the talking, the bossy—er, doting—one who tends to Max with a very specific idea of what he should be doing. Max, while quiet, is the mischievous one, and has big ideas of his own.

Max & Ruby pretty much are N.Lo & K.Lo. I love it, and love that K.Lo sees it, too.

We like Common Sense Management (whenever common sense is, um, available) here at the Lo.Co. And we also like our training materials. I ran across a site today that I think is pretty cool: Common Sense Media.

This organization acknowledges mass media’s presence and influence in our society and helps Managers to make smart choices. Granted, a single website should never fully dictate one’s management style, but the material provided by CSM can help to inform our decisions.

Check it out! There may be some new movie, music, or book ideas for you and your company.

 

Oh boy. I’m so sorry to do this to you all, especially after the recent Mamma Mia! tearjerker. But I heard this song the other day on the radio, and well if you care to, just have a listen.

In case you can’t remember the words to those lullabies in the middle of the afternoon or night, here’s a good lyric resource for 13 of these songs. I often find myself humming the lines or making them up. Or completely forgetting the songs’ existence, in some instances. And actually, there’s one or two I had never even heard of. We’ll see what tune I can come up with for those…

On The Olympics

*“Go USA!”

*About the Trampoline event: “Boing, boing, boing.”

 

On Cinderella

*When the pumpkin gets smashed by the horses: “The pumpkin is peeled all over the place!”

*At the end, when the Prince and Cinderella run down the steps: “They’re getting married. They’re going to see Mary!”

Managers, make sure to keep up with those training videos that are geared specifically toward our profession. Not only does it get you away from the office for a little while, but there are often inspiring moments in these films that can renew one’s energy toward life and occupation.

And also, moments or songs that remind us just how damn much our staff means to us, how fast their little careers fly by, *possibly* requiring a giant box of tissues whenever one thinks about it later.

From Mamma Mia! (a super-fun movie I highly recommend):

Slipping Through My Fingers All the Time

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

Last night, we tried out Green Eggs and Ham, and it was a hit. Today, our CFO approved the purchase of the following (used! we like used) training manuals:

Harry the Dirty Dog, by Gene Zion

Arthur's Reading Race, by Marc Brown

The Tooth, by Dr. Seuss

Clifford's Spring Clean-up, by Norman Bridwell

Come on Over, Grover, by Katharine Ross



We've also pulled out a few copies of the Curious George training manual series, as well as Where the Sidewalk Ends. Previously, these manuals had been stored away due to certain violations of the Employee Code of Conduct. 



I have to say, my favorite part of K.Lo's interest in these manuals, aside from her enjoying The Manager's Recommendations from her own early training days, is the one-on-one training session time with the employee. The curling up in the crook of my arm, the quiet air of content, the captivation with words and story. I'm a big fan.



Next stop is the library, where The Manager will have to fork over some overdue fees from that time I forgot to return a training manual shortly after hiring a new employee. Frankly, I think they should give me a break, but the CFO has finally conceded to pay up. Maybe.

Recently, a colleague shared with me the following essay on being a Manager. I had not come across it before, and though it's from a few years ago and you very may well have read it before, I feel like it's an essay you can read every now and again, just as a reminder. Employee Appreciation is so key to the success of a company.

On Being a Mom, by Anna Quindlen

Training Manuals Do Not Lie

Last week, K.Lo received her first cookbook, called "Kids in the Kitchen: Recipes for Fun," by Gooseberry Patch. The book is spiral-bound with clever, boldly colored illustrations filling every page, which are all made from heavy card-stock. Basically, it is very small-employee-friendly, and The Manager finds it fun to look through, too. 

A long, long time ago, in a company far, far from here, a young Manager-in-Training diligently, repeatedly, watched a motivational training video called Annie. Her own Manager made her a uniform, and the employee sang, quoted and otherwise devoted much of her workday to hailing this instructional movie.

Fast-forward a couple decades and some change, and this young employee has become The Manager of her own company, with a small girl named K.Lo under her employ. K.Lo is equally, if not more so, diligent in watching this all-important motivational training video called Annie. She wears the uniform that has been passed along to her by the Regional Manager. She sings, she dances, she quotes. The Manager could not be more pleased, entertained, proud.

While I've catalogued some of these snippets overheard in the vicinity of K.Lo's cubicle, here they all are in one place:
*"Come here, Sandy, come here." And, "Good ol' Sandy!"
*"Sandy's his name..." And, "ask fleas."
*"Dumb dog." [Although possibly this line isn't from the movie.]
*"Maybe far away..." [Jumbled lyrics and tune, but definitely recognizable.]
*"To-morrow! I love you! To-morrow! A day away..."
*"We got Annie!"
*"Hard-knock life..." [Also jumbled lyrics and tune, but recognizable.]
*"Think I'm gonna like it here!"
*"Turn the kitchen light off!" [From "Let's Go to the Movies," perfectly on cue.]
*Shrieking just like Lily St. Regis during "Easy Street."
*Pleading "Please!" with very same intonation as Annie when she's climbing the train tracks to escape Rooster. Clearly needing juice is an equally intense situation.
*Somersaults during "Hard-Knock Life"
*Also during "Hard-Knock," disappearing and returning with pillow for the pillow fight.
*And finally, returning to the office from a company excursion today, The Manager said to K.Lo, "Let's go see Daddy." In response, K.Lo murmured, "Daddy Warbucks?"

"Ever been around a parent who starts off every sentence by whining, 'He won't let me'--as in, He won't let me put him down, cut his fingernails, mix a martini, etc.? Um, last time I checked, you outweigh him by at least a hundred pounds. Man up."

--Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, Naptime is the New Happy Hour

(Consider this book on my Training Materials Wish List.)

As Manager, I feel it is so important to take the time, at least occasionally, to hole up in my own office and view a good Managerial Training Video. A video that none of the other staff would be interested in. Maybe (hopefully) it is just the relative greenness of my staff that is affecting me, and this too shall pass, but lately I find it difficult, nearly impossible, to concentrate and make it all the way through one of these MTVs. I get sidetracked with less important projects, I fall asleep. Or, I am summoned by the staff. Regardless, I can't seem to make it through a single episode of Gilmore Girls in a single sitting, and I take, on average, about a month to watch my selection from Netflix. If I don't make more of an effort, the CFO of this company is going to axe my Netflix allocation altogether.

I feel like I need to re-amp my efforts to take in these instructional videos, as they help me to be a better manager. So let this memo serve as a Notice to All Employees that if need be, we may have to view more Managerial Training Videos during the Day Shift. They may be boring, but the staff will have to suffer for the sake of my career.

K.Lo's two-day visit to the Regional Manager's office was a great success, and we are pleased to report that all parties benefited enormously after a few days away from the usual office scene. Here are a few notes from K.Lo's retreat:

*K.Lo attended several workshops, in which she learned such vitals skills as baking cookies and Swiffer vacuuming the floor. She also assisted the Regional Manager with baking The Manager an incredibly tasty banana birthday cake.

*Only one major employee meltdown was reported to The Manager, involving tiredness, hunger, and a coveted bag of Cheetos. Anyone might have lost it, given the same set of circumstances.

*K.Lo's favorite Work Buddy Doll, after months of near-nakedness (at K.Lo's insistence), now wears half a uniform, in the form of a shirt.

*Several new/used uniform pieces were acquired for K.Lo, for which The Manager is very grateful.

*K.Lo spoke over the phone to a colleague who works for a related company; they discussed work schedules and managerial demands.

*Performances on both the Night Shift and Afternoon Breaks were reported as relatively productive.

*While watching the training video called "Annie" prior to the Night Shift (with the intention that it would calm her down), K.Lo proclaimed that the somersaults performed in one of the opening numbers "looked like fun!" She then bounced up from her desk to give it a try. Training on this particular video was promptly cut short.

*New phrases spoken while on retreat: "You know what?" "I'm happy! I'm vacuuming!" and "The Manager will be right back."

Here at The Lo. Co., we make it a point and habit to listen to music throughout the work day that satisfies the entire staff. We are not regularly visited by a Baby Beluga, or whatever it is that Raffi sings. Management is not a big fan of CDs with children singing, so if we play anything specifically geared toward small employees, more than likely it will be sung by an adult, and definitely by a human. That human adult will not be wearing a ridiculous costume or dressed up like a child. Management's teeth itch at the very thought.

So here are some of the things we do listen to, what's been on the office playlist lately:
Paul Simon's Graceland
Putumayo Kids: Sing Along with Putumayo and Animal Playground
Jack Johnson's Sleep Through the Static and the Curious George Soundtrack
Matt Costa's Unfamiliar Faces

All of what we play is, in one way or another, pleasant to listen to and just plain fun. Management feels this sort of music increases productivity and overall work satisfaction for the entire company, enriches the employee training experience and yet leaves Management without a headache. It's a win-win for all involved.

In the interest of exchanging ideas and improving productivity in all of our companies, I invite you to share in the comments section what sort of music your own company prefers. Or better yet, what you listened to as a young employee in training. I personally listened to a lot of Barry Manilow and John Denver, and my employees love it. Yes, both of them.

This is an excerpt from a poem we have on the refrigerator in our Break Room, called "The Ages and Stages Poem," by Michael Popkin. I read the Twoville stanza often, and it makes me feel a little better. It's kind of a like a fresh cup of coffee for The Manager. Anyway, it seemed like a good day to share.

The Boss

When I was two, the world I knew
Was always mine to rule,
I used my powers (and smashed your flowers)
And demanded that you be cool.

Now in command, I did not understand
That I couldn't have my own way.
I said, "Do as you're told, 'cause I'm big and I'm bold,
And my tantrums can ruin your day."

At times a delight, you'd love me in spite
Of how often I made you say "no."
My job was to test and give you no rest.
No wonder your energy was low.

I read a managerial training article recently that addressed employee personalities, and began thinking about my own two employees in terms of the nine personality traits that the article outlines. As the article suggests, these traits are nothing to "freak out" over; as a manager, I just think they're interesting to think about for both training and posterity. Perhaps when the employees have been with the company for twenty years or so, they can look in this file for some help "finding themselves." Whatever that means.

As previously noted, we at The Lo. Co. prefer Sesame Street above all other motivational training videos, mainly because unlike all the others, Sesame Street does not talk down to the employees. Nor does it accost the senses of The Managerial Staff with excessive shouting and/or abrasive pitches. Some companies may argue against Elmo, and in fact our own CEO does not particularly care for Elmo; however, Elmo as a creature is not intolerable, and at least can be admired for his good manners, enthusiasm, and sense of humor. I personally enjoy Elmo.

Here's who I do not like, leading me to the point of this addendum: Baby Bear and That Elephant Whose Name I Do Not Know. Baby Bear's code violation is not necessarily his own fault; as is suggested by his name, he baby talks. However, he does at this point have a younger sister, Curly Bear, so I feel he should no longer be using "w" sounds for "l" sounds, and in accordance with the Sesame Street culture, he should have a bit more intelligence.

And the elephant, or TEWNIDNK, he just freaks me out. The puppeteering for this creature is not Sesame Street's best work, as there is clearly a man inside that costume, and the neck, the lanky form--none of it is right at all for an elephant. Plus, he screeches. The Lo. Co. cannot abide by these histrionics, but considering all the other merits of Sesame Street, I suppose we will let it slide.

It's a cold, rainy, sleepy day, a good time to take some notes regarding instructional videos:

• Our office prefers the Sesame Street gang for motivational training. The material is, simply put, classic. Aside from my own longtime affinity for the Muppets, it is one of those rare shows that doesn't sear through my brain and obliterate all coherent thought. If you do happen to pay attention, they throw in amusing fare for the over-5 set, and also, in general--so important--they don't talk down to any age group. If and when characters directly address the viewing audience, it is more in a jokey way, not a wide-eyed questioning way with an exorbitantly long pause, in which the child is supposedly figuring out the answer. Sesame Street is also timely and clever, always developing new parodies of our pop culture. And, the adults on the show are actually adults, with adult dress, adult speech, and adult lives. They each have a real job and otherwise do not act in a manner that causes the viewing audience to feel embarassed for them.
  
• Other acceptable viewing includes Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Dora the Explorer, Blue's Clues, and Little Einsteins, but for all their bright colors and (very relatively) unannoying scripts, the exclamatory cadence of speech on these shows can easily make one's toenails curl. It's like they are SHOUTING every OTHER word!!! Additionally, Blue's Clues presents the aforementioned problem of feeling embarassed for adult characters, and Dora's eyes are discouragingly vapid.
  
• PBS is maybe the best source of instructional videos overall, showing not only Sesame Street, but also The Berenstain Bears, who are hopelessly nerdy and Good, and yet absolutely engaging. I can't help it, I have to see how the story ends. Curious George, Mr. Rogers, and Caillou (pronounced Ki-you) are also great, but at present, K.Lo could not be bothered. Which, of course, is totally fine.
  
• On the other hand, Barney the Purple Dinosaur inspires feelings of violence from deep within. I have tried to embrace him for K.Lo's sake, because she loves that marching-band-ish intro music and dances around like it is the greatest thing ever. My efforts at dinosaur tolerance lasted approximately 30 seconds, until Barney spoke. The dopey timbre of his voice made me want to snuff the life out of him in too many creative ways.
  
• I can't abide the singing shows. I can't tune them out, aurally or visually, as most of them are like a superbad acid trip. The adults don't act like adults, nor do they really act like children; they act like adults who are trying way too hard to ingratiate themselves with children. It's ugly, the whole scene: the songs, the outfits, the antics, the sheer noise. K.Lo loves music, loves to dance, but she can do these things just as well to say, The Beatles, or whatever else we feel like listening to around the office.